From karras_thorne at yahoo.com Thu Aug 14 22:05:31 2008 From: karras_thorne at yahoo.com (Karras / Stu) Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:05:31 -0700 (PDT) Subject: [Royal Guard] Yet Another Undead Creature in the Black Dragon Inn Message-ID: <192995.92795.qm@web63008.mail.re1.yahoo.com> I had decided after the usual hot eve of Last Seed to take my allotted break within the BlackDragon Inn after I had completed Malgadossa Aptentr. This was yesterday, or Middas, Last Seed 13. Upon entering the Black Dragon, I was accosted with a Menx-damn awful smell the likes of which I hadn?t come across since they?d burned this lot of dead calves that had rotted after dehydration in my years as a farmer in Transdariania. I came across what appeared on all accounts, to be some undead musigire in red armour of some sort, moaning and groaning as typically konkeletek undead do, spilling rats, vermin and what not onto the inn?s floor and making a general nuisance of its undead self. At first I tried to order the thing outside, as I?ve met a few undead before and they seemed to be reasonable folk who could hold coherent conversations, despite the fact that they have no functioning vital organs and are considered to have no rights by Arangothian Law. Communication proved useless, so I then attempted the use of verbal force, and commanded the thing to leave the premises. This also proved unsuccessful, and the undead only responded by approaching upon my proximity as I nocked an arrow. I did not have my usual assigned vials of Holy Water on my person at this point in time, for reasons of which are quite trivial but suffice to say there was a shortage of vials in the Guardhouse this morning. At this point I thought all forms of apprehension would be useless, and the thing would have to be exterminated. At this point in time, the undead creature was being held back by some inexplicable magic of some kind by an certain individual (description of Lesleigh). Finding this would be a useful tool, I requested the magic user to assist in encouraging the undead creature outside, who at this point started rambling some claptrap about Elgaria and stuff that made no bloody sense. The individual and I were at the verge of getting the ugly thing outdoors when some stupid broppi (description of Weiss) decided to take it upon himself to fight this undead creature, and he went about making a Menx-damn awful racket, swung some chain weapon around I?ve never seen before, shouting stuff about ?holy this? and ?honour that?. He then proceeded, after undertaking some acrobatics which made no fighting sense to me whatsoever, to blast the undead creature with some form of magic that ended a few tables inert and made a gods awful mess, which included almost knocking me to the floor. The individual then fled the scene. As a precaution, I would request any guards who see this troublemaker to have him questioned and perhaps given reprimand for such unruly and idiotic behaviour. Had I the means I would have arrested him for obstructing the duties of a Royal Guard. After the use of more of the individual?s (description of Lesleigh) magic proved successful, the patron and I led the undead down to the Wharf District, where we were able to disable and ultimately end the life of the already life-ended creature, who upon contact with holy water, disintegrated. No other bystanders were harmed in this incident. -Arms-Corporal Merrax ul-Oyran Ratholta. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ARANGOTHIANISMS: Middas, Last Seed 13: Wednesday, 13th of August (in the mun world). Malgadossa Aptentr : First Watch. musigire : An undead creature konkeletek: Idiotic (Literally, sheep-headed) Holy Water: Members of the Royal Guard are given vials of Holy Water as standard. Mun had neglected to remember this detail when he went IC. Elgaria: "In years past, the Order of the Beady Eye helped to carve an Arangothian province called "Elgaria" out of part of the Elgar Forest and kept the monsters at bay. After the fall of the Old Kingdom, the area was abandoned, and the forest has grown over the remains of Elgaria with unnatural speed in the past fifty years." (See http://www.arangoth.org/index.php?page=arangoth&cid=45 ) broppi: Stupid; an idiot. Win a MacBook Air or iPod touch with Yahoo!7. http://au.docs.yahoo.com/homepageset From ladyhatshepsut at gmail.com Sat Aug 23 22:35:40 2008 From: ladyhatshepsut at gmail.com (Hatshepsut) Date: Sat, 23 Aug 2008 23:35:40 -0400 Subject: [Royal Guard] Detention of Simpleton "Jun" in BlkDragon Inn Message-ID: <5730a920808232035r7ed4578fwf420d80d2c80ce0e@mail.gmail.com> 23.VIII.478 At or around the Third Night Bell, I was on duty in the BlkDragon Inn after completing my rounds, having a light dinner. While I ate, I noticed an emaciated young woman ((description of Jun)) sneaking out of the kitchen of the Inn carrying a sack of flour. I consulted with a barmaid, and was informed that she had not purchased the flour. I approached the woman, who identified herself in the third person as Jun and clearly suffered from a mental defect. She confessed to her crime, however, and made clear that she understood that it was wrong. She claimed that she needed the flour for an "evil plan" also involving lemon (the "most evilest of lemon fruits") and eggs. In a conflicting story, she claimed that her father had thrown her out of the house and ordered her not to return without flour. She also claimed to be a fey, a statement I can neither confirm nor deny. Despite initial resistance, she finally set down the flour by my order, and showed no sign of violent resistance or ill will. However, in the interest of her well-being and to prevent likely future crimes, I apprehended her and put her in Cell 14 in the Royal Guardhouse. I made sure that she was given a generous bread ration, as she appeared malnourished, and have left a request for the wardens to continue to do so. I would encourage leniency when her case is tried, in light of her mental insufficiencies and physical state, and would personally like to see her placed under the care of healers or caretakers at a temple or a secular charity house for the indigent and infirm. By my hand, Spellcaster Peony Heatherdown of the Upper Darian